when life gets TOO real11:45 a.m. - 2004-08-02
Most of our lives, we go day-to-day with most of what we encounter being things that we expect. Even things that we don't see coming don't seem THAT bad most of the time. But there's something different about suicide...
In just over a month and a half, I've had 3 people, that I've known combined for over 40 years, take their own lives. What's even more troubling, is that they were all within 2 years of my age. (one was 26, the other 2 were 27) Prior to these 3, I had only ever experienced the suicide of one person that I really knew to any extent. So, it's not exactly a situation that I was very prepared for.
One of the most common reactions is, "what could I have done to prevent this from happening?" The truth of it is, very rarely could you have stopped it from happening. We all have our demons, and rarely do we turn to others to help us deal with them. That's a large part of why most people don't see these things coming, cuz we don't let them know there's a problem to begin with.
So I sit here, not wondering what I could've done, but worrying about the people that loved these individuals. I worry that they will blame themselves for what has happened, when the truth is, they didn't WANT you to do anything. It was their decision to shut you out and to not let you help them. Worst of all, it was their decision to end their pain, at the expense of those who cared.
It is times like this that I remember that there are some wonderful people out there in my life. These are the ones that would stand by my side and battle my demons with me, if I asked it of them. Fortunately, I've never been one to shy away from sharing my demons with the special people in my life, such as Kim and my brother. Now my demons are out there, and there are people who watch them when my back is turned. My demons will never get the best of me, and I hope my loved ones can take comfort in that.
Don't keep it all bottled up. Don't shut out the people who would do anything to make you happy. Don't try to shoulder the burdens all by yourself. There are people out there for you to turn to, you just have to open your eyes and see them. They're always glancing back over their shoulder at you, wondering if there is something they CAN do for you NOW, so that they don't have to wonder if there's something they COULD'VE done once it's TOO LATE...
R.I.P.
Rob Tettamant
Brandon Bombace
Larry Schumacher
3rd Trimester!! - 2006-01-19
A New Beginning... - 2006-01-03
STILL ALIVE - 2004-11-01
when life gets TOO real - 2004-08-02
bittersweet weekend - 2004-06-14